The letter Dr. Brash sent the day after our second negative, last August:
I am sorry that the outcome of the in vitro fertilization cycle was disappointing for you, as it was for all of us here. Unfortunately, sometimes even when everything in the cycle goes well, people do not get pregnant for reasons tht we do not understand. This does not mean that IVF will not work for you in the future, and at times people have to try several times before they become pregnant.
I am still very hopeful that you and your husband will be able to conceive and take a healthy baby home, so please continue treatment so we can get you in the direction you want to go.
Oh yeah? Oh yeah? We'll see what he says tomorrow morning, when he's reread the case notes without having listened to me cry immediately beforehand. Check out those fertlization stats! Think how long that expensive and painfully obtained sperm has been in the freezer by now! And don't forget those aging ovaries!
Memos to self for next time:
Do not file embryo micrographs and related materials (e.g., bright pink post-its that read, "8 ICSI'd; 3 showing signs of fertlization. Already behind?") with bills and receipts.
Do not schedule long-delayed follow-up during tax season, when bills and receipts must be sorted and reread.
Wait a minute: there's not going to be a next time. Right.