So today the OPK confirmed another surge. Of course, we're on the bench right now, and, of course, there's absolutely, absolutely, no chance that we'll, um, just get lucky. The underlying problem is topological. Why do I keep checking?
Well, I worry that the hormonal violence of the IVF cycles mght have broken me. Once upon a time I had 26-ish day cycles. I had 5 unmedicated cycles between IVF 1 and IVF 2; the first of those was like 35 days long, and then they shrank down to 24 days. The first couple of post-IVF 1 cycles I couldn't feel anything happening during the cycle; no apparent mucous changes, no bloat, no puffiness, no PMS, no nothing. But, things got pretty normal by the 4th and 5th cycles.
Mostly the same thing happened after IVF 2: first very long, very dead-feeling cycles, then shrinkage back to normality. But last cycle, I got puffy boobies just before the surge that lasted through the end. (If I weren't so flat, I think it would have been pretty unpleasantly painful.) Which is weird; I mean, that happened, and even more so, during IVF 2 when my estradiol made it to like 2500, but it doesn't usually in normal life. And now it's happening again. At least this surge is on a nice, normal (for me) day 15.
Oh, and, of course I worry about my ovaries just giving out, you know, 'cause they're tired. I read someplace once that staying on the pill can help preserve one's fertility. Oh great—so I stopped taking drugs 11 years ago 'cause we didn't need them, and that might have been a bad idea in the long run?
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