No real news

Friends and family keep asking how I'm feeling. But the only honest answers to that question are ones I'm not willing to admit to: utterly and shamefully obsessed with the way my body is going so totally Venus of Willendorf, yet not yet so totally that anyone can, like, tell. Utterly and shamefully obsessed with the tenuous state of my digestion and with ensuring I get enough fiber to keep things moving. Shocked at the dents my socks have left when I take them off at the end of the day. Horrified my friends' toddlers' moods, and occasionally tempted to drive-bys (should you be negotiating with your small, small child in the middle of a busy intersection as the lights go yellow? Damn the tears and pick 'em up, lady!). Inadequately concerned with important things like: is it reasonable to be planning to fly cross-coutry twice (round trips, for weddings), and drive once (one-way), in my third trimester? Will we have a functional kitchen by the time we get home? (It's good they've gotten the windows and siding on, we like intact walls, but the sink? the fridge?) Are we already too low on the list at the only infant day care in town? And how on earth are we going to cope at all?

Several far-away friends have had babies in the last few weeks. When I call them, they ask how I'm doing, as if they care, as if I might have news, too. (I badger them into telling their birth stories anyway, and listen for cries in the background.) When I go to buy gifts, it still feels like the baby stores are not for me. I am not supposed to own these tiny little clothes. Where on earth would we put a crib?

I saw Dr. Pippi-Poisson yesterday. (She wore four-inch black wedges with ankle straps along with her white coat—wolf whistle time!) She's cool with Claritin, thank God. What little was checked on seemed well, although, really, the Doppler was all—well, and blood pressure, I suppose. It's four weeks to my level 2. Only the ultrasounds make it seem at all real.

Comments

[xilerui]

For what it's worth, I had an outright hissy fit at the Motherhood store in my fifth (or so) month, because I was convinced the saleslady wasn't taking me as seriously as the other women because I didn't look pregnant like they did. I dreamed last night that my uterus fell off my abdomen - despite the fact that I'm just at seven months and finally do look pregnant - and that I was no longer pregnant. Or never had been - one of those. I think there's a crowd of us (in my case, older [38] and very anxious) for whom it takes a long time for everything to seem *real*.

It gets better when the baby starts kicking, though, I promise.

As for the third trimester stuff (since, after a long time lurking, I seem to have decided to comment on everything...), it might be overdoing things a bit. I find that it's pretty much all I can do to drag myself off to the one class I teach this semester, then go back home and collapse on the sofa. But, then, I'm older, which seems to have an effect on things.

Hang in there!

[bitchphd]

Re. travel: at the beginning of my 8th month I flew to London, then Berlin, then back to London for a wedding (with a side trip to visit my husband's aunt--I mean, we don't get over to Europe that often).

A couple of weeks later we took a last-minute cross-country flight to my father-in-law's funeral. We had been planning to drive (money reasons) but he died sooner than we expected.

So yeah, sure, you can do it. Driving is probably better b/c you can stop and walk around. But as long as the pregnancy isn't having any problems, go for it. (Keeping in mind that you will indeed be very tired.)

[Moxie]

Pick the kid up and drag her/him to the other side of the street, and *then* have the discussion. Urban Toddler Parent 101. And yet so many people apparently don't get it. What do you say when your friend is stopping to negotiate with her kid leaving you and your own child hanging ass-out in traffic? Grr.

I agree with Bitch PhD that the flying won't be so bad. But you may not be able to keep up with the wedding weekend schedule like you'd like to. OTOH, you'll feel like ass wherever you are, so you might as well be with people you like being with instead of moping at home alone (which is also the answer to the question "Should I take an infant to Paris over the summer?").