Day 1 did not go well

Yes, a colleague went so far as to unlock the door of my office in order to walk in on me while I was pumping. Female, natch; she wanted to use my microwave, and somehow it hadn't occurred to her that my door might be aggressively closed, instead of open like it's been during my months of absence, for a reason... to be fair, she felt awful.

I'd only just gotten the Isis to suck, but it didn't matter whether I managed to relax enough to let down again, 'cause the center called right then. Tabby was screaming and miserable, wouldn't take the bottle, was the angriest baby in the world, could I come over? So I did.

She nursed for an hour in a corner of the center, and we talked about what to try next. I tried not to cry. Tomorrow, I'll go in and stay with her at the beginning of the day: try to get her used to the space and the noise when she feels safe in my arms. Also try to get her less afraid of the staff. And we'll shorten the numbers of hours we expect her to stay there without me.

[Did I mention that I am trying to start getting some work done? That we have a candidate interviewing tomorrow? That Dr. Wow is getting very restless?]

[Thank god we are doing this in a way that does allow for some weeks of adjustment. If I were teaching, what would we do?]

[I do wish the staff were more upbeat, though. They don't radiate "this baby will love me" confidence; instead they tell horror stories of babies who have had a bad time adjusting.]

Beaker managed a couple of less awful sessions with the bottle at home: no food consumed, but it was a nice toy, one she was perfecty willing to stick in her mouth. It's progress.

Then our washing machine broke. For real. [And yes, we're doing cloth diapers. Tick, tick, tick...]

Comments

[timna]

It does get easier. My baby switched days to nights when she realized that daycare meant bottles (of breastmilk, but not the mommy delivery). I was exhausted, but she settled into her routine. Rather than washing the bottles, have you tried saving the milk in the plastic bottle bags? That worked for us and was less labor intensive. They could also be labeled and frozen.

Is the baby care on campus? That sounds wonderful.

[KarenF.]

Aargh! I hate hate hate it when people unlock the door to my office and enter. I was on the phone one time when my chairman did this to me. What an awkward situation (but not as awkward as yours...) I also hate it when people knock on the door even though I've put a sign out there stating, "Do not disturb". To be bugging me under those circumstances, they'd better be bleeding or have another emergency of that nature.

Regarding the daycare adjustment: I received a lot of sympathetic looks on the first day of my daughter's stay at daycare. It turns out she screamed so loud that she could be heard throughout several classrooms. I had warned them that she had a set of lungs and wasn't afraid to use them. I don't even remember what the problem was, but basically it was never that bad again and I came to be good friends with the care providers.

One of the things I find so difficult about parenting is being in that state of constant transition. Adjusting to new situations all the time can be very stressfull. Regarding your specific problem: What kind of bottle/nipple are you using. The Avent brand was recommended to me as being the most like the breast, and it worked well for my daughter. I know women who have had to try several before the baby would drink from the bottle. Just a thought... Hang in there; this, too, will pass.

How does your daycare like cloth diapers? Ours was totally grossed out by it, and we moved to disposables for the day care and then once she was older we caved in and used disposables at home.

[liz]

Muffin Man settled right in to daycare (started at 10 weeks), but some other babies there took a few weeks. Mostly the older ones (one memorable 9-month old took a month to settle in, he spent that whole month clutching his blankie and crying big tears on the glider rocker. As soon as he settled in he was the happiest, smilingest kid in the room. Still is, three years later)

I think you're doing the right thing by taking it slow and easy.

[Moxie]

This sounds like a big bag of shit. I'm sorry. And I hope it goes better soon.

[arb]

Oh God. My heart goes out to you. It sounds very hard. Pumping is such a commitment. As ridiculous as it sounds, you might want to get one of those Easy Expressions (?) pumping bustiers. I found I was less stressed about pumping at work when I could get a little email done, or at least read the NYT online. We felt like we had blown it with the bottle feeding—didn't get her used to it soon enough, she wouldn't take it when I started back to work, etc. But it did happen, eventually. Everyone will tell you "Well, they won't starve." And that is true. But it doesn't make it any less hard on you, the mama. I hope the daycare staff warms up a bit. I really do. As for the milk storage bags, if you haven't already tried them I do recommend the Lansinoh brand. The Medela bags are kinda worthless. And I'll assume you already know about kellymom.com. Good luck. Did I mention that my heart goes out to you??

[Ally]

My transition back to work was about the bleakest time in my life. I really, really feel for you. I'll just tell you what everyone told me - hang in there, eventually you'll find your rhythm.

[Shandra]

I just wanted to dispense sympathy for the hard day. Hang in there; it will definitely get better!