Barely promoted

Reducing my productivity

Yesterday was my last day of pumping. Today I packed up the pump.

Should I try to pass it on to a friend who's due in February? I feel like I need to ignore the possibility that I might ever need it again, myself. I've been very suspcious that way, ever since I ogled the Japanese Weekend website during my first (ha!) two-week-wait. That failure felt like a punishment for hope.

Will we cycle again? We can't really afford it, of course, especially not with our other crippling hobby of home renovation. I'm getting older, and I don't have the time; even my summer schedule is filling up (uh, thanks, uh, Dr. Wow). Beaker is of course a little sicker than he was and hence afraid that a second baby would kill him.

And, although I've weaned myself off the damn machine, Miss T. likes her num-nums very much, thank you, and substantiallly no progress has been made on cutting down direct nursing. Here I am, 15 months out, with not even the slightest hint of ovulation, let alone the two post-lactation "normal" cycles Cornell wants to see.

But! But! But! There's still surgically extracted sperm in a freezer in New York! How could we not try?

Spreading confusion

I. I've spent like 2 hours over the course of two days reading all the letters in response to Sallie Tisdale's essay on her son's difficult life and how powerless she feels to help him and his children. Such a range of reaction! Such a trainwreck of views!

It wasn't until I was on page 16 or so of the letters that it hit me: of course, this is what happened to two of my grandparents' three children, their inner demons drove them down despite all the advantages of their upbringing, and why? and what if it happens again? (Did all the letter writers have some version of the same fear set off? Is it that universal?)

II. It seems like people have been slagging off less on Judith Warner, even though she's back blogging at the Times. Fewer flames means fewer links means I hadn't checked in in quite a while. But, oh Lord, look how she's given up entirely on social science, and (as far as I can tell) in the future will only interpret studies in light of the lifestyles of their authors.

WELL. That'll show them.