Well, what I said about hormone levels last time wasn't entirely fair. I'm on a microdose Lupron flare protocol, lead-in with birth control pills, and I took some strange (for me) drugs between that baseline and the first checkin. Who knows what was supposed to happen?
Since then the estradiol's been going up 46% a day, hitting a whopping 188 last night, after 7 days of 8 vials. Today Dr. Data took a look -- and only one follicle on each side is moving. Two smaller ones on each side, so still the same 6 total we saw at baseline.
Given our limited sperm situation -- if this is going to lead to just two mature eggs -- that's not worth defrosting for. But, Dr. D. says that there's a chance the little ones will break out today, that can happen on this protocol, so he wants me to keep on taking drugs for tonight, at least.
I am trying to be grownup about this -- I knew it could happen, and I've seen plenty of people on line who did crappily on this protocol and better on EPP/antagonist, say -- but I feel tired and sad. And angry at my ovaries, which feel swollen and grumpy. Another betrayal-by-the-body physical symptom, kinda like the 2ww in miniature.
I also remember how crazy I thought people who kept going after a cancellation were, back when I was a young and cruel IVFer. We probably wouldn't be able to fit another cycle in in August, so that'd make it January again.
I'm taking Miss T. up to Weatherwood today on the train. That prospect is also making me tired and sad.
Since then the estradiol's been going up 46% a day, hitting a whopping 188 last night, after 7 days of 8 vials. Today Dr. Data took a look -- and only one follicle on each side is moving. Two smaller ones on each side, so still the same 6 total we saw at baseline.
Given our limited sperm situation -- if this is going to lead to just two mature eggs -- that's not worth defrosting for. But, Dr. D. says that there's a chance the little ones will break out today, that can happen on this protocol, so he wants me to keep on taking drugs for tonight, at least.
I am trying to be grownup about this -- I knew it could happen, and I've seen plenty of people on line who did crappily on this protocol and better on EPP/antagonist, say -- but I feel tired and sad. And angry at my ovaries, which feel swollen and grumpy. Another betrayal-by-the-body physical symptom, kinda like the 2ww in miniature.
I also remember how crazy I thought people who kept going after a cancellation were, back when I was a young and cruel IVFer. We probably wouldn't be able to fit another cycle in in August, so that'd make it January again.
I'm taking Miss T. up to Weatherwood today on the train. That prospect is also making me tired and sad.
Oh damn.
Posted by: Jody | Monday, June 02, 2008 at 12:14 PM
I realize that you are not the one to determine your protocol, but perhaps you could look into a Femara short cycle? I am a patient at the largest European fertility/research center (Brussels), and have had poor response often enough. (I am also one of the masochists who returned for more disappointment after cancellation -- though this happens more in countries that cover IVF as part of national health care)/ My doctors hesitated about the BCP+short cycle option (saying there was some early indicators that the MC rate was higher), but had quite good results with Femara during the start of a short cycle (suppression with either antagonist or agonist, whatever worked). I cannot say it worked for me, since I have had a consistent problem with "empty" (immature, large) follicles. But it has worked for co-cyclers, and given your situation, it's what I might try.
But that is talking about the future. In the meantime, I am genuinely sorry. I know too well this disappointment, and would not wish it on anyone.
Posted by: swisschard | Monday, June 02, 2008 at 03:24 PM
Ugh. Tired and sad sucks.
Posted by: BrooklynGirl | Monday, June 02, 2008 at 05:51 PM
So sorry about this stage. Hope the little ones break out today.
Posted by: Twice | Monday, June 02, 2008 at 10:35 PM