I'm here. It's still here. Nuchal scan was entirely normal; ultrascreen came back with 1/4000 chance of Down's, 1/2000 of trisomy 13/18.
I keep saying I'm trying to decide whether to get an amnio or not. But then I keep not calling to make an appointment to talk to someone appropriate, and the weeks are slipping away.
I don't want one.
Even though I have at least 3 good reasons for getting one: my age, my R.E.'s recommendation that all ICSI pregnancies get one, and that damn 7 week ultrasound.
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After the nuchal I started telling people (not like my belly wasn't already doing the talking for me!). Applied for my maternty leave -- yes, this early, so that my poor department has a chance of replacing me.
We told Miss T. last weekend. She doesn't seem to care much, yet. That seems fine.
__________________________________
There is still not much joy.
My exhaustion has burned out, thank goodness.
But Beaker is sick, coughing and short of breath, and has not been getting better, and we don't know why (not specifically -- of course we know it's lung inflammation, but from what source and for how long?) -- and that's deeply frightening, in context, for both of us.
We will probably not go to Weatherwood for Thanksgiving -- long drives are a known strain for him. Marina's daughter will be there, along with several friends, and Marina called a few days ago to make sure we wouldn't be getting in the way too much -- well, more delicately than that, of course.
We went ICSI and had borderline numbers back in May; and age was also an issue; but my wife would not have terminated regardless, so we figured why take extra risk of e.g. amnio? Thankfully, everything turned out great. I have been unable to find any research backing up the rec. for all ICSI pregnancies to get amnio, btw.
Mostly this is just to offer warm fuzzies on getting this far. Maybe think how you'd have felt if told the odds on getting tenure were 3999/4000 :-).
Posted by: Argh - anonymous, I guess (except to you via email!) | Wednesday, November 19, 2008 at 11:53 PM
terrific news on the nuchal! i am looking forward to reading about the day when you are able to relax and enjoy this pregnancy.
hope beaker improves quickly.
Posted by: ivfcycler | Wednesday, November 19, 2008 at 11:54 PM
I'm older than you, and had much worse ultrascreen numbers, and I decided against it (well, I did have one at 36 weeks to check lung maturity, but that's not really relevant to you right now). Howard doesn't have Down Syndrome. I don't see any reason why you should have the amnio if you don't want to.
Sorry to hear that Beaker's not feeling well, though - that is scary. Sometimes I wish I were religious so I could say that I'm praying for you, but you'll have to settle for good wishes for the best possible outcome. For all four of you.
Posted by: Elizabeth | Thursday, November 20, 2008 at 01:09 AM
Wonderful news about the screens! No need to worry about feeling joy yet. That will come in time. For now, good news is good news. And I say follow your gut on the amnio. If you don't want one, don't get one. You've got plenty else to focus on without adding anmio to the mix, especially the worrisome news about Beaker.
Skipping Weatherwood this year sounds like an excellent idea. I hope you all have a chance to rest up instead of running yourselves down. I'm sending fond thoughts your way.
Posted by: lurker | Thursday, November 20, 2008 at 01:11 AM
PS -- So how's the women's college in the frigid midwest working out for Marina's Caribbean daughter?
Posted by: lurker again | Thursday, November 20, 2008 at 01:13 AM
It sounds like it's been working out very well academically and socially: she's the aggressively successful premed that she wants to be, and is also working for the international students' office and as an R.A. -- which helps pay for things. She's often shocked by the fecklessness of her fellow students. What I hear from Marina all reminds me, a lot, of some of the foreign students here at Granolan.
When I've met her she's been very shy. I can't blame her -- Ricky is a nightmare of a stepfather, and all she really knows about me is that I'm related to him (and to his cranky mother who didn't like black people much).
What I don't understand is why, if she's got a tuition scholarship and the R.A. gig, they still want so much money from Marina every semester. (Well -- I mean, I know why the school wants money! But I've never seen financial aid in a non-need-blind, non-fully-funded situation before.)
She's not eligible for Federal aid or loans, so the bills have been a huge stress for Ricky and Marina. The daughter took out a private loan last year, and I was shocked by how awful the terms were. The documents were like a little baby mortgage.
P.S. to ARRRGH! Yes, I see the e-mail you put on, but no one else does, and it can be fake if you want it to be!
I think Dr. D. started recommending ICSI after the studies showing a possible link to higher probability of imprinting disorders came out -- but it's not like those are things they check for in an ordinary amnio, so far as I know!
(Weren't there also studies that said ICSI babies were taller than normal? I wonder whether the wackos who wrote this (mentioned in the Times last week) would try to fit that into their grand unified theories... don't think they mentioned ICSI anywhere, though.)
Posted by: Emma Jane | Thursday, November 20, 2008 at 09:50 AM
I realise - and the 'argh' is because I would love to talk more about this stuff, but my wife is uncomfortable with publically identifiable comments on it. O well :).
Posted by: Argh :-) | Sunday, November 30, 2008 at 03:42 PM
Then send me e-mail! Link in upper left.
Posted by: Emma Jane | Sunday, November 30, 2008 at 05:03 PM
Student loans for international students can be so brutal that I'm shocked some of the terms are actually legal.
I'm glad to hear that Marina's daughter is thriving academically, however. If she comes out of her education with an MD, those hefty student loans will be more manageable (still outrageous, but at least realistically manageable). What's frightening is the chance that she might wind up with the loans but not the MD. But perhaps that possibility will help motivate her to see it through.
Posted by: lurker | Sunday, January 25, 2009 at 10:54 AM
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This is Joshua from Israeli Uncensored News
Posted by: Joshua | Thursday, June 11, 2009 at 04:57 AM